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June 19, 2009

Mom’s Coffee Break Weekly Ezine

In this issue:

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Welcome to the first MCB Ezine & Show!

Upcoming MCB Show

Our first show will be about Losing your identity. Many women no longer feel like “themselves” after they have a child. We are asking you to fill out this short survey to see how you feel about your identity.

We want to know what you think! Stop by and take the MCB survey, then tune in to the show at http://blogtalkradio.com/journeytoself , Wednesday June 24th @ 8pm cst / 9pm est and listen LIVE to find the results of the survey.

The show will also be replayed on June 24th @ 10pm cst / 11pm est at http://blogtalkradio.com/momscoffeebreak

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Personal Development with Coach Tonya

You Are Not Just a Mother,
You Are You First!

Mothers face many challenges in today’s world. They carry the responsibility of many roles. Through these roles we become different things to different people. Sometimes we get divided over having a career and having a families or find conflict between the different jobs that we try to do. Making the question “Who am I?” even harder to answer.

It grows harder because mothers see this little person that looks up at them with innocent trusting eyes, mommy is everything to that little one. She makes the hurt from boo-boos go away with a kiss, chases the monsters from under the bed away, and rocks them after a bad dream. Every mother takes that responsibility and carries it with her no matter where she goes. It is an awesome responsibility of caring for this wonderful little person and being mom is always on the mind. As much as it is wonderful to revel in mommyhood, we still need to remember that being a mother is just one part of us, the more we allow ourselves to see who we are the better examples we can set for our children to leading a balanced life.

As a mother, I have struggled to find my own identity. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a business owner, a sister, a friend…..but who am I? It is easy to define yourself by what you do and what you mean to other people. As we take on these different roles our own identity gets blurred. It is harder to make the distinction. Who am I if I am not Logan’s mom or Ben’s wife?

Who are you? A wife, a mother, an employee, they are all a part of who we are, but they do not define you. We are the only ones that are able to define who we are. When are we just women? Women that have our own values, ideas, and philosophies, women that are able to embrace their different roles in life, but still are able to maintain there sense of “self”.

The importance of women defining who they are is giving them a chance to grow as women. To recognize that they need to take off all the different hats that they wear during the day and take time to honor who they are.

The problem is that because they are in so many different roles that they stop seeing themselves separate from them. They stop taking time for themselves, because they are giving so much to everyone else. Does this sound familiar? Have you lost your identity among the different jobs that you do everyday? How do you see yourself?

Here are a few questions that can help you determine if you are defining yourself by what you do instead of who you are:

If you answered “no” to any of the questions it is time to get back in touch with yourself. You need to not only stop defining yourself by what you do but you need to spend sometime getting to know who you are.

Here are some tips for you to get in touch with the forgotten woman inside:

Make sure that you spend time perusing your own interests. The problem with defining yourself by what you do is that you don’t give yourself time to do what you want to do; your time is spent doing for others. Do something that you have always wanted to do; take a class, start a book club, anything that gives you some time to just do your own thing. Above all make the time to do it! It’s ok to do something for yourself.

Say “NO” frequently! Just because you take on different roles does not mean that you have to do everything for everybody. Recognize when there is something that others could really do for themselves. Do not let yourself be taken advantage of! REMEMBER it is just as much of a benefit for others to learn how to do for themselves as it is to you.

Make sure that you have OFF DUTY time! Just like a conventional job, make sure there is a time of day when you are done. Don’t work right up until you go to bed. Give yourself time to unwind, distress, and relax. Wait until the kids are in bed and take a long hot bubble bath. Curl up in your favorite chair with a good book. Meditate or do yoga. Do whatever relaxes you. You need this time to maintain some balance. Because of you multiple roles you are “on the clock” the majority of the time. You have to have time to distress! Without it you are going to “burn out”. Visualize your bank account if you keep making withdraws without making a deposit, eventually you are going to just run out of resources. Make sure to take time to revitalize yourself.

I have found that by maintaining my own identity that I am a better mother, wife, daughter, business owner, sister, and friend. It maintains balance in my life because I know that even though I am different things to different people; I know what it means to just be me.

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Business Buzz with Jody

Living my life as a Rhino??

Yup, that was not a typo or misspelling.

Some of you are probably thinking, why does a beautiful woman,

entrepeneur and mom of six think of herself as a Rhino?

This is an analogy I heard a few yrs back and it Opened my Eyes and made me more Self-Aware, I hope it affects YOU the same way!

The human race can best be described as a huge herd of Cows! We live in a huge pasture with many many other cows, doing the same thing day in, day out! We roam together, huddle together, and yes, even eat together. Life is pretty much the same day after day.

Now, a Rhino, amazing animal that it is, can actually live quite peacefully amongst a herd of cows! This strong, powerful animal can be quite tame, and live its life contently as a cow!

The thing is this, a Rhino can be awakened up one day to its true “inner self”, perhaps looking in a refreshing pool of water and “See” that its different!

A Rhino can then see, its stronger than a cow, it has a powerful horn on its head, and best of all…..”The Grass Really does look GREENER on the other side of the Fence!”

So using muscles he never knew he had, and a horn for butting and crashing the most strongest of fences, the New and Enlightened Rhino surges through into the next pasture!

Excitement, strength, and the knowledge of the best food, untrodden fields and new things to explore is all opened up to the Enlightened Rhino!

As the Rhino looks back into the pasture full of cows, he notices something amazing! Just like himself, he can “SEE” other Rhino’s acting like cows, with no idea that they too are an Amazing Powerful Rhino!

So, with a newfound knowledge of the best of life, the Enlightened Rhino goes back into the Cow pasture and gently nudges other Rhino’s.

Unfortunately, some are so steeped in living the life of a cow, that no matter what the Enlightened Rhino does or says they do not want to leave the security and path that they think they are on.

Others get a bit of a sparkle in their eyes, and for a glimpse, may realize they have a Rhino, but that glimpse was not enough. Then the blessed day comes when the Enlightened Rhino rubs against another Rhino who has been unsatisfied with his life as a Cow!

He listens intently to the Enlightened Rhino and realizes that deep within, he too, had never fit in with the path of the Cows!

So, after much searching the Unlighted Rhino found another Rhino just like himself! Celebration was in order!

After that, the Enlightened Rhino loved living his life full of the greenest pastures, the freshest water and living with a Power and Strength within him greater than anything he had ever known!

He did, of course, go back into the pastures of the Cows and found a great purpose in his long and abundant life by “Awakening other

Rhino’s”, but even better than that, he had his biggest realization:

“Once you know in your heart that you are an Enlightened Rhino, you can NEVER step back into the life of a mundane Cow!”

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The Domestic Goddess Corner

Spend Quality Time with Your Kids

Spending quality time with our children is of the utmost importance. It helps to shape and mold their minds, bodies and personalities. It not only teaches them skills and life lessons, it also gives them a positive self image. Our children watch, and usually mimic, what we do. However, spending quality time with our kids does not have to mean spending money. There are several things we can do with our children that cost little or no money whatsoever.

As all of us know, communicating and spending time with our children is extremely important for their development, both physically and mentally. It is important for us to know what is going on in our children’s lives and for our kids to know that they can always talk to us. Creating these crucial parental bonds should not have a price tag.

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~ Mom’s Coffee Break ~
Helping working mothers not just survive, but thrive!

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