Precious Moments June 22, 2007
Posted by Tonya in : From Coach Tonya, Lessons from a child , add a commentWe all have those priceless moments that live in our hearts forever, that will always be one of those memories that is the clearest and the brightest. I had one of those moments tonight…
Bedtime was drawing close and Logan came to me with a request. “Momma, play shake it” he said as he put both of his arms up in the air. Of course I knew what he was talking about…a couple of days ago, I had downloaded two of our newest favorite songs from the Curious George Soundtrack on to my computer. And they happened to be great for “shaking it” as Logan puts it.
I couldn’t resist, I put on the first song, “Shake it, momma” Logan said as he pulled me out of my chair into the middle of the room. I followed his lead as he danced in a circle, his little arms and legs keeping up with the jungle-like beat of the music. I too, was dancing, as the saying says, like no one was looking…letting the sheer joy take over. Then Logan took my hands and we danced together in a circle. I twirled him around and as his blue eyes sparkled, he threw his head back letting the sweet sound of little boy laughter fill the room.
“Sing! Momma” he said between giggles. He didn’t care, if the singing was out of key or if the words weren’t right, he just knew somewhere in his little heart, the simple uncomplicated joy of singing…so we started to sing as we danced.
As the music from the first song faded into the second song, Logan found some empty plastic pop bottles, which he promptly started tapping together to the rhythm of next song. We sang and danced around…without missing a beat I transformed a nearby stool into a drum. Logan joined me, even giving me one of the bottles to use a a drumstick.
No matter how much time passes, I will hold the memory of tonight forever. It was a chance for us both to let ourselves be free. A time of bonding and connecting, of laughing and letting ourselves be silly. There will probably be many more times like this, but tonight will stand out in my memories, it was a flawless flow of energy, love, and joy.
I let go of all the adulthood hang ups and was a child again, no worry, no doubt…just fun.
Although life may get in the way, we need to let more of these pure moments into our lives. More importantly, we need to be willing to let any unexpected moment be a chance to free ourselves from the ordinary and let our spirit run free. Whether its dancing with your two-year-old, or singing your favorite song loud and proud, let your inner child play…the adult in you will be grateful for the break!
It’s Me! June 20, 2007
Posted by Tonya in : From Coach Tonya, Lessons from a child , add a commentThis morning as I went to wake Logan up, our dog, Desirrae (pronounced how it is spelled Des-ir-rae) followed me into his room. After my little one told me good morning, he turned around to the dog and said, “Hi Desrae, It’s me…Logan”
“It’s me…” is Logan’s newest little catch phrase. You have to admire the lack of shyness that some toddler’s have and the way that they announce their presence to the whole world. It is before they start caring about what others think.
I think that a toddler’s struggle to be heard in the world, to discover who they are. It is not unlike the struggle that we go through later in life when we start looking for our path, our life’s purpose.
When in our life do we stop being who we are and start worrying about what other’s think?
When do we stop announcing ourselves to the world with a, “It’s me…” ?
We can all learn a lesson from toddlers, look at how much they go through to just become their own little person, a struggle that we repeat throughout our lives.
Remember who you are and don’t change it or hide it to please others!!
Announce proudly, allowing it to echo off the far corners of the universe, “IT’S ME!”
Never too old to visit Sesame Street June 19, 2007
Posted by Tonya in : From Coach Tonya , 1 comment so farIf you are like me, I grew up watching Sesame Street…I remember the letter of the day, Big Bird and all his friends, all the great places like the fix-it shop and Hooper’s Store…
Sesame Street may have changed some, but the old familiarity is still there. Everyday, my 2-year-old son and I watch clips on the computer, mostly the songs. Honestly, it is my favorite time of day. We watch some of the old ones from my childhood like “C is for Cookie” and “Rubber Ducky”, but I am delighted to see the new ones, like Elmo, Big Bird, and Harry singing “Happy to Meet You” with Celene Dion.
As an adult I can see the messages in the songs more clearly than as a child. One of my favorite songs, as we travel through the music of Sesame Street is “One Small Voice” sung by Elmo and the Backstreet Boys with a monster ensemble. The chorus of the song is “One small voice, can teach the world a song.”
Think about the power in those words. It is a fabulous message for our children, as well as one that we should embrace.
Each one of us has the power to let our voices be heard, whether it is through our businesses, through the we pass on to our children, or being a leader. Each one of us can make a contribution to this world! There is no such thing as big or small, it is the fact that we make it that counts.
We all should be so lucky to go back to visit old childhood friends and listen to the simple lessons they teach, even though adulthood may be filled with pitfalls and cynicism, it can be filled with empowerment and love for ourselves and others.
I encourage you to take some time to embrace the messages that we give our children, sometimes we teach them without living them. Think about how much more enriched your life will be if you take time to not only teach our children, but show them by example how one person can create great things in their life!
Even a song sung by monsters can inspire you! One Small Voice
Join us for Mom’s Coffee Break Friday June 15th June 14, 2007
Posted by Tonya in : Events and Invitations , add a commentDon’t forget to join us, this Friday June 15th for Mom’s Coffee Break!
At 8am PST / 9am MNT / 10am CST / 11am EST in the Networking For Her A/V Conference Room (there is a small safe download, if you have not been in the room before. If you have been in a Hot Conference room before the room is NFH Party Spot - Room 3)
We will be talking about Maintaining Identity. Our sponsor for MCB this week is Denise Neal of For Every Body Home, she will be giving away a 3 candle tin set (pictured below).
Click here to download:
For Every Body Home catalog
For Every Body Home price list
Save 10% on all orders in the month of June
Orders should be emailed to: denise@arbonneisme.com
What Identity Are You Living? June 13, 2007
Posted by Tonya in : From Coach Tonya , add a commentThe working mother has many roles that she takes on, sometimes creating a whirlwind of responsibilities and demands. Between raising a family, running a business, developing a career, it leaves women with little time to pursue the key elements to maintaining their own identity. Maintaining one’s own identity is vial to personal advancement. Think of the life you are living.
Do you know who you are? What else is there to you other than being a mother or owning a business, what personal goals do you have?
Do you know what you want out of life? What kind of life will make you feel fulfilled and complete?
More importantly, Can you really know what in life is going to make you happy, if you don’t know yourself?
We need deep inner reflection in order to determine where we want to take our lives. When you lose touch with your self, you start to lose your identity. Everything that makes you unique starts to fade, your passions, your interests, your hobbies, even your own view of the world around you starts to take on a different perspective.
Like any relationship, without putting in the work it takes to maintain it, you start to lose touch with who you really are. When you sacrifice your own personal care, your relationship with yourself declines. Women often throw themselves into their family or their work ignoring the fact that they are losing themselves.
The most common reason blamed for the loss of personal identity is time. “There is just not enough time” or “I don’t have time for that”; we use the same excuse when we lose touch with old friends or don’t keep up on activities that we use to love. Poor time, it gets such a bad reputation, getting blamed for us not finishing projects, not going after our dreams, and not working on ourselves. My husband and I have a motto in our family and that is, “If it is important we will make time for it”. The fact is that it is not time’s fault; it is our own fault for not making ourselves a priority.
I am a different person than I was ten, even five years ago, because then, I was living an existence that was not true to who I was. Now, I work very hard at maintaining a healthy relationship with myself. It has given me the ability to create a life that is worthy of who I really am.
Are you living your life as the real you, or are you just going through the motions substituting the roles that you fill in your life for your identity?
© Copyright June, 2007
Tonya Ramsey
What’s Stopping You? June 11, 2007
Posted by Tonya in : From Coach Tonya , add a comment“When we use our minds, take a step at a time, we can do, anything, that we wanna do.” From Blue’s Clues Song
Shows like “Blue’s Clues”, “Sesame Street”, “Go, Diego, Go”, teach kids that there are limitless possibilities out in the world. Think back to your favorite childhood show, think about how you felt when you knew that anything was possible, that you could do anything. When did that type of thinking stop?
What happened in your life that stopped you from thinking that you can have everything that you dream about?
Is it one single incident that took away our faith, our hope…our dreams? Or did it happen over a lifetime? However, it got into our heads, unless we are living our dreams or living a life leading us to our dreams; somewhere, some time in your life, you heard someone say, “You can’t do that!”, and it you believed it.
I was always a different child growing up. I was told from a young age that I was “too smart for my own good”. I never seemed to fit in my own peer groups. By high school, my old soul shined through and I was unable to let loose, to have the care-free existence that others my age did. I think that as a teenager it is universal have that desire to feel that you belong and I felt like the round peg trying to fit into the square peg.
And as if my teenage angst wasn’t enough as I move into adulthood, now there was a bigger picture…How do I fit into the world, not just with the kids at school, or my family, where is my place, what is my purpose?
Fear gripped me, as I struggled in the real world. I feared failing, so I dropped out of college. I feared being alone, so at nineteen I married a man that I had nothing in common with. I feared not having money so I worked overtime, sometimes holding down more than one job. And when the unhappiness that slowly crept up on me finally enveloped me I was too scared to change.
Fear is the big difference between the pure innocent thinking of a child and our adult selves. Children start with no fear and it is only through experience do they learn how and what to fear. We learn to fear people, we learn to fear ideas, we learn to fear labels, some even learn to fear themselves. In fact, the message of most children’s shows is one of fearlessness, encouraging each to be an individual, to use their creativity, to see the good in people…that all takes strength and courage, that only children have, before it slips away with adulthood, before we let fear control us.
Looking back over a lifetime of memories, I spent several years deep in regret, wondering what would have happened if I would have turned right instead of left, said no instead of yes, lived a life that was more worthy of who I am meant to be. “What would have happened if…” was on the forefront of my mind, so much that at one point I was stuck on the past, replaying what I thought were the pivotal moments in my life, those decisions that I wanted a “do-over” on.
In childhood, you get those unlimited supply of “do-overs”, as adults we usually feel powerless over our mistakes, beating ourselves up to the point that we fear making the wrong decision. At every crossroad that we come to, we feel the effects of fear coming from a deep well within ourselves.
We have to release that fear, and allow ourselves to be set free. We have to let go every “You can’t to that!” we have every heard from others and from ourselves. You have to go deep within you and let your inner child give you the strength that you knew when you where young. Allow the “I can be or do anything” thinking to flood back into your consciousness. Believe in yourself, the same way that we teach our children to do.
Learning to be the person that you want to be doesn’t stop when you enter adulthood, I think that is where most of us get tripped up. The whole span of our life is for us to evolve, we are meant to continue to grow, and search for the answers. It is the journey of life to continue that healthy curiosity about the world around us and the person that is within. Each experience in our lives we can look for a chance to learn; lessons don’t just happen on “Sesame Street” or in “Elmo’s World”; they happen everyday of our lives.
One of the greatest gifts that I have received in my life is my son. He has enriched my life in so many ways and has helped me rediscover the knowledge that I have forgotten. I see once again through the eyes of hope, innocent, and resolve to think that anything is possible. He has helped me find a new way to look at the world around me.
An empowerment dwells inside me now that had been tucked away for a long time ago. Now, whenever the fear or the “you can’t do that” thinking comes back, I just sing softly to myself, “When I use my minds, take a step at a time, I can do, anything, that I wanna do.”
© Copyright June, 2007
Tonya Ramsey
Understanding the SuperMom Trap June 10, 2007
Posted by Tonya in : Events and Invitations , add a commentTuesday June 12th @ 11am PST / 12pm MNT / 1pm CST / 2pm EST
Moms provide hugs of reassurance and kisses that make the hurts subside. We are the nurturers, we hold those little hands throughout theirlives, no matter how big they are and we always see those tiny hands in our own. No mother takes that responsibility lightly. However, women forget that they are also human and individuals. Understanding the SuperMom Trap is the first step in finding the life you want and deserve.
Join Coach Tonya Ramsey for this informational seminar on how to understand the trap that practically every mother falls into.
Do you want to find the true key to happiness? Ready to find your true healthily identity? It takes a desire to reconnect with your inner self, a willingness to abandon the out dated expectations and the commitment to stop trying to fit into an unrealistic mold, then and only then can you take off the cape and let your true self shine.
This event will take place in the Networking For Her audio/video Conference Room (there is a small safe download)
Cost: FREE
Don’t forget to register for: “Taking off the Cape: Getting and Staying out of the SuperMom Trap”, a two part workshop, starting on Thursday June 21st.
Overcoming Self-Sabotage June 1, 2007
Posted by Tonya in : Articles by Tonya , add a commentAccomplishing goals can be a daunting task; especially, when one has to overcome obstacles in order to reach the desired result. It is easy to identify external obstacles that block our goals. Yet, those are not the only obstacles that stand in the way. Often times we have internal obstacles that prevent us from following through on our goals.Think about your goals and the course of action that you have taken to move towards them. Are you where you want to be? Have you accomplished your goals despite obstacles? If not, take a moment and think about what has held you back from your success. Are you justifying the lack of progress towards your goals on something external? What most people forget to consider is internal obstacles that prevent them from moving forward, often times it is a subtle, almost unknown to the conscious mind.
Not truly feeling you are worth your goals, or worth the time it takes to put into accomplishing your goals, often lies at the heart of unconscious self-sabotage. If you do not feel that you are worth your goals then all efforts are futile. Check in with yourself by doing a self-evaluations to see if you are the one that is indeed holding back your own progress. It can manifest itself as in many ways.
Procrastination: putting off action steps or things that need to be done, or tasks that you find unpleasant. Procrastination also puts undue stress and can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed on a person because eventually what is put off needs to be done, by that time tasks have piled up.
Indecision: not having a decisive action plan or going back and forth about your course of action. Indecision can lead to self-doubt in your abilities.
Acting as “Lone Ranger” or martyr: not asking for help when you need it, not utilizing resources that are available to you, not seeking out education that you need to.
Not saying “no” when you need to over commits yourself and does not leave time for you to work on your goals, it is important for you to put you and your goals first before considering other requests.
Not saying “yes” to opportunities that will lead you to your goals. Lack of self-confidence or self-esteem could lead you to pass on opportunities that would benefit you.
Tolerating conditions that are not conducive to your goals instead of changing them
Not being truthful with yourself or others
Overcoming self-sabotage can be difficult, that is why it is best to start with the source. Why are you procrastinating? Why do you not say “yes” or “no” at the times you need to? What are you not being honest about? When you find out the reason behind the behavior, you are on the way to overcoming your internal obstacles and will be able to get to working on your goals.
© Copyright 2007
Tonya Ramsey
